Stimulate This!

It's been awhile since I've posted a short novella, but I've sort of been busy. With the economy in the toilet people are not throwing away as much as they did in the past and the winter being one for the books, business has been at best slow.

While all our elected officials can do is urinate away our, our children's and our children's children's future, the small business owner is left to fend for them self. No stimuli here. No TARP money. Nothing, except nuisance taxes and greater scrutiny over business operations. The bureaucracy and the computer age combined with the outsourcing to the other side of the world can leave one speechless. Common sense, civility, and that down home touch is gone. I dam near piss in my pants laughing when I get a customer service representative on the phone calling them self "Debbie" in that thick accent from India. I've made it sort of a game when I get these folks on the phone. They can't think on their feet or deviate from their script. It is just like talking to an automaton.

So where is this going. On Friday the 13th of this month I arrived at work about 7:30 in the morning. I've been going to this same place for the past 15 years. Something just didn't look right. There, inside the facility where my office stood, was a pile of buring and smoking debris. I stood for a moment in disbelief then called Fire Control. I identified myself and then asked if the local Fire Department had any calls the previous night for a structure fire. I was informed that there were no incidents reported or responded to. I then informed Fire Control to dispatch the local Fire Department to my location for a structure fire.

Within minutes, which for those who have shared this experience can seem like years, the local fire department arrived. If you ever want to see how much you can get done in a short period of time, call the fire department and then count the seconds as they respond and do somethings like move trucks, excavators, loaders etc. out of the way. It's amazing!

Several trucks responded but many were turned away. Only one was enough. Before water was put on the fire the local county arson task force responded. Standing on the outside of the burning pit of hot coals, enough to roast a good sized pig, we surveyed what was left and what was missing. Then the water was applied and the fire was out. Not really, it still cooked for two days after.

Our computer, fax machine, credit card terminal, phones, digital scale reader and many other things were stolen. The fire was just the final insult. I'm really mad about the fact that I had a high score on the game of "Mu Shu". Over 375 consecutive games won.

So with the embers cool, the investigations done, we cleared the site and rebuilt within a week. But in the meantime I had to deal with banks, insurance companies, the board of health, the state, the police and every vendor and creditor under the sun explaining to "Lucy" what happened and what I lost and need from them.

Phone trees that lead you to India and Pakistan or some other exotic cauldron of the abyss coupled with selecting a language option are enough to push an already overloaded and over worked individual past the edge. Ever notice how those phone trees never have the exact selection you're looking for? I just keep pushing the "0" key until the system shorts out and I get a live person on the phone or the system shuts down.

So after a week and a half of going though this crap I feel really Stimulated!